| Sanford Buckwald | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Sanford | |
| Full name |
Vince "Sanford" Buckwald |
| Last Reported Age | |
| Primary Employment |
Unemployed |
| Relatives |
Bud Buckwald (father) |
| Played by |
Judah Friedlander |
| Episodes |
All |
Sanford (formerly Vincent "Vince") Buckwald is the first born child of Bud and Janice Buckwald. He is a 25 year old loser, who still lives with his parents and is a total disappointment to his father. He is voiced by Judah Friedlander.
Biography
Despite being a graduated adult, Sanford had yet to land a job, and still lives with his parents at the age of 24 (and later 25 as of the events of "Viva Coyote"). Because of this, his father has absolutely no respect for him and has lost all faith in him ever becoming someone useful in life. However, his mother still has patience with him and believes he has potential.
When Janice was first pregnant with Sanford, his father was already upset and attempted to use the coat hanger to get him aborted. This failed and on February 32nd, Sanford was born into the Buckwald family. Bud and Janice followed through with raising him and his birth would be succeeded by his sisters, Becky and Gert. Unlike the latter two, Sanford would make no real achievements and would lead a life of sitting around with his thumbs up his ass, being a complete waste of space.
Sanford enjoys drinking Monster Power Energy drinks, which give him a surge of energy every time he takes a sip, usually causing him to spaz out and do a wild and crazy dance, where he flails his entire body, bobs his head and makes rocking drum noises with his mouth. This is the only way for him to be "energized" at all, since without the beverage, he is significantly lazier and will gladly do just about nothing. He is friends with next-door neighbor, Ruiz, who shares his enjoyment for energy drinks and laziness.
In "Santa Ana Winds", Sanford became jonesin when Monster Power Energy Drinks were taken off the market. Looking for something to stimulate his mind, he got on his computer and started rapidly writing up a script to a fanmade third sequel to Big Momma's House, which "Unanswers all the answered questions from Big Momma's House 2", as he said. Surprisingly, the script became a clut hit overnight and he was paid pretty penny by an official movie company to actually make it a thing. He then started writing away, making tons of other worthless and terrible movies. The Jewish community was infuriated to hear about this. They were raking in dough, by using their terrible actors such as Adam Sandler in shitty comedy movies, and now, they were losing it to Sanford. The Jewish comedians got into a brawl with Sanford, and they were about to win, until he obtained the Monster Energy Drink again and used his hyperactive power to defeat them in battle. However, he surrendered the war, as now that he had his energy drink again, he had no reason to continue writing shitty comedy movies.
The Sanford Buckwald, who serves as a character in the show is really just a false persona put on by an undercover agent, who works for an illegal drug company. ("Borderwall") His real name is actually "Vince", but he had to change his name and leave his hometown, to protect himself for unknown reasons ("American Doll"). For all we know, "Sanford" could actually be an intelligent, useful guy with a job as an undercover civil servant and the whole lazy ass known as "Sanford Buckwald" is just a persona as part of a witness protection program, so that Vincent can do his real paying job.
Appearance
Sanford is a sloppily dressed man with long, light brown, stringy, uncut hair, and poorly shaven facial hair. He has a slouched posture, whether he's standing or sitting. He wears a brown hat, red undershirt, blue ripped up jeans, and brown shoes.
Personality
Sanford is rebellious and seems to not care about anything around him except energy drinks and metal music. He is shown to be very lazy, and was a complete loser. Sanford is a completely worthless human being who provides nothing for society or even his own family. He spends every second of the day, sitting around, scratching his ass, and sucking up air. He is also very stupid, and has apparently been poorly educated, throughout his scholarship. He's taken nothing away from grade school and possesses no valuable knowledge for getting a job or even getting into a decent college. If Sanford were to suddenly seize to exist, the world would be completely unaffected and absolutely nothing would change.
Trivia
- He has a bad hearing issue, as seen in "Borderwall".
- In "Borderwall" it was revealed he wasn't really the son of Bud and Janice, and was really an undercover agent, planets there to sell illegal drugs.
- In "Santa Ana Winds", he still remembered being in his mother's womb, and distinctively remembered his dad trying to give him a coat hanger abortion.
- In "Santa Ana Winds", it was revealed he was uncircumcised.
- It was revealed in "American Doll", his real first name was Vince.
- In "American Doll", it was said he was born on February 32nd, meaning that at the age of 24, he's only had 3 birthdays.
- In "Viva Coyote", he said it was his birthday, making him 25.
- Sanford shares the name of the main character from Mark Hentemann's other shorty-lived MTV 2 cartoon, 3-South.